#choosekind
/“When given the choice between being right and being kind. Choose kind. ”
The book fair was always something I looked forward to each year when I was in elementary school but especially when I became a teacher. I loved how excited my students would become to browse through all the beautiful new books from Scholastic. They would meticulously create their wish lists, count their allowance money, and study the books until they decided exactly the right one to purchase. We would then have, "snuggle and read" time when we would return back to the classroom so all my kids could dive into their new worlds created by the books. I have always loved to read and wanted my students to have the same love of reading. Now more than ever, I want to pass along my love of reading to emmy and elle.
Another reason why I loved book fairs when I was a teacher is because of the Scholastic Representative who would come to our school and introduce the teachers to all the new titles. Mr. Black was an extremely vibrant individual who had an incredible gift of describing books which made us want to read all of the selections. I will never forget the spring day in 2012 when he was introducing us to various new picture books and how they would be perfect additions to our classrooms. He kept telling us he was saving the best new book for last. Finally, he started to introduce a newly published novel about a young boy. He made us all close our eyes as he read us the first chapter of the book. I was instantly hooked. I immediately went and purchased the novel and started to create lesson plans around all the amazing real world connections and lessons which I wanted to teach my students. I would read aloud several pages of the book daily to my class. We laughed and cried together while reading the story but most of all we bonded. Reading aloud and discussing this novel with my third grade class will always be one of my fondest memories of teaching. I feel like the story not only made a large impact on my students but also on me. You know how people say books can change your life? This one definitely changed mine. It made me become even more intentional with teaching character traits such as kindness and empathy because, "everyone deserves a standing ovation at least once in their life," and "when given the choice between being right and being kind. Choose kind."
The book I am referencing is, "Wonder" by R.J. Palacio and I encourage everyone to read this remarkable story about a rising fifth grade boy, named August, who has a cranial/facial deformity and is going to be attending school for the first time ever. The entire story switches back and forth from various character perspectives and is a teacher's dream because it hits on a variety of literary elements and themes. The largest recurring theme throughout the book is to choose kindness. Choosing kindness is definitely easier said than done. I would reference this story in the classroom even after we had finished reading. I truly saw a change in my students once we had completed, "Wonder." I felt like our classroom had become an even tighter-knit community and the students were genuinely trying to choose kindness when facing everyday obstacles with their peers.
Now I am a parent and like all parents, feel the intense pressure to teach my children how to be kind to themselves and others. I can repeat, "choose kind," until I am blue in the face but actions definitely speak louder than words. My girls are toddlers so we still have a ways to go before they can truly start to comprehend kindness but what they have started to understand is compassion. Compassion and kindness go hand-in-hand. They show compassion and empathy to each other and others when they know someone is not feeling well or sad. The sweetest sight is seeing one of my girls pat the other on the back when they cough or when Emmy asks, "you ok sissy? you ok mommy?" Those three simple words can instantly make me swell with pride because she is learning this compassion from our actions, the people who are closest to her.
Children are inherently good. They are born with a clean slate and we are entrusted with the task to shape them into beautiful, little humans and contributing members to our society. What better way to contribute to our world than to teach kindness and compassion to our children now so they can in turn teach future generations?
I have complied a list of different articles and blogs which I believe describes simple ways you can help teach your own children to choose kindness in their everyday lives. I would love to expand the list once I hear from you, my readers, about ways you display and teach kindness.
8 Ways to Teach Kindness to Toddlers and Preschoolers- I love this article and will be consciously making an effort to follow the advice to continue teaching emmy and elle about kindness. I especially like the author's last two points about approaching frustration with patience and being the example.
"Approach frustration with patience. When we come upon a potentially frustrating situation, we speak aloud to our kids about what might be the reason for the circumstance and how we might be able to help. For example, if we come up to construction on the road where we have to sit and wait unexpectedly, I'll say something like, "Looks like they are working hard on the road to keep us safe, huh?" I explain that we need to wait for our turn so that everyone can be careful while others work hard for, ultimately, our benefit. Sometimes patience and kindness are the same exact thing.
Be the example. No matter what you practice and teach your kids, it will rarely be as strong as the example that you show them each day in your own actions. If you speak kindly about others in your home and have patience in difficult situations, you will see your child mimic the same behavior and words in their own actions. Our kids notice when they see someone being kind to a stranger, and I have seen their smiles and manners literally change the frown on a person's face to a surprised smile."
10 Ways to Foster Kindess and Empathy in Kids- This article is awesome and is definitely geared towards slightly older/ school aged children. I hope all of our children can be the "Jenna's" of the world. My biggest takeaway from this article is the quote below about being a coach.
"Be a coach, not a browbeater. To teach children how to rationally consider the consequences of their harmful actions, use logical reasoning. Keltner notes that simply telling kids what is right or wrong — or reacting with strong emotions or physical punishment — produces people who are less likely to want to alleviate others’ pain. By encouraging reflective discussion, you can help children learn how to actively listen and appreciate different perspectives."
20 Ways to Teach Kids about Kindness- is a collection of activities and ideas from the blog, meaningful mama. The activities are fun but intentional ways to teach your children about kindness.
How to Raise Empathetic Kids- This article, which was originally posted by Fatherly, is another awesome collection of advice. The last paragraph really stuck with me and I know I will try my best to raise, "upstanding- not bystanding," children.
"Raise an Upstanding — Not Bystanding — Kid
Just like the NYPD says in its subway ads, if you see something, say something. If they think someone is being treated cruelly or unfairly, let them know it takes moral courage to stick their neck out for someone. Kids won't always instinctively speak up for others, and you don't want to speak for them. Encourage them to use their own words and, if those don't work, tell them that they can always tell you, a teacher, or that guy down the street who does karate in his garage."
How to Teach Kids Kindness- This article goes over 11 ways you can help teach your children kindness, compassion, and empathy. The article also links other awesome articles about teaching kindness that are definitely worth you taking the time to check out! The author made a valid point in this article which I am going to implement in my own parenting ways...
"Practice Until It Becomes a Habit — Not a Chore
Like every value you work to instill in your child, kindness comes over time. Work to develop this mindset by continually focusing on it and coming up with creative ways to do for others. It's also essential to maintain a consistent and open dialogue surrounding it. Value kindness as you would any other achievement and be sure to praise your child when they do well while also constructively discussing when they could do better."
I hope this small collection of essays and posts helps give you ideas to teach your children kindness. Remember if you start with simple acts then it can make a big impact. Another way you can teach kindness, like I mentioned prior, is through the use of books! I have linked below all the different versions of Wonder. I also created a wish list from Usborne Books which highlights the best books about kindness, compassion, and empathy. Enjoy and thank you for reading!
We're All Wonders (This version is perfect for younger children. I have definitely purchased this story as a holiday gift for emmy and elle)
Auggie & Me: Three Wonder Stories (I just purchased this book for myself. Cannot wait for it to arrive!)
365 Days of Wonder: Mr. Browne's Precepts (Beyond excited about this book too. Mr. Browne was the most amazing teacher and role model from the book, "Wonder")
